I spent the entire day with mike. We went to ihop and ate nutella creeps (our favorite) and then used my super cash at old navy. We found him a dress shirt finally and an awesome athletic polo and only paid $11!! I bought $40 worth of toys for $20 for my dads class to use as prizes. Mike and I spent about an hour choosing them ha. We were supposed to go running at Woodward park but instead we mostly walked and enjoyed the scenery. It was very beautiful and the weather was perfect! After that we went to the other old navy to use the last of my super cash :3 then home to show my dad his prizes (which he loves) and relax. The new olive garden 3 course meal was calling our names so for obvious reasons we could not ignore it. We stuffed ourselves and acted super silly. I sang him songs in my terrible voice all the way home and we laughed about everything. I feel so happy. It was bliss.
So gazelle and I parked on this small street called Wilson off of Gettysburg and walked all the way down to shaw where we turned left and proceeded to walk about 2 miles down to van ness boulevard.. at least that’s what my gps told me. It was the scariest freaking walk of doom I’ve ever experienced. I thought for sure we were going to get raped or mugged. When we realized we were nowhere close to Christmas tree lane, we were walking on a dark street. Jut two girls, and Gwen stefani playing from an iPhone that had failed us. So I called ibs because I figured he would know how to get there since he lives in the area. Like a true friend he came to the rescue and picked us up where we were and drove us right back to where we started, and essentially, right where the entrance to Christmas tree lane was.. So I felt like a complete idiot, and I still do. But it makes for a good story! Gazzle and I drove back to Sanger to get gas and swing on the library park swings that we somehow always find ourselves on. We were freezing and sore but still had the time of our lives. We walked down the street in downtown Sanger and rapped to the music on my iPod and talked about ridiculousness as always :) definitely a night to remember.
I accidentally looked at twitter for the first time in over a week (1week 3 days). I don’t want to. At all. Like I’m upset that for less than a second I saw the image of a tweet. Why? I don’t know. I’m pretty sure it has to do with my need for escaping reality. I’m in emotional limbo right now. I haven’t cried yet. I cried the night it happened but I stopped after that. Plus it wasn’t a real cry. I was in denial still. Maybe I still am… But this time I’m not waiting for his call. I don’t think it will ever come. I like just feeling as if he doesn’t exist at all. It doesn’t hurt that way or get in the way of school or work. I know it’s inevitable. I can’t move on without crying and accepting it by thinking about it, but I just don’t like being miserable during the day. And I think I’m thinking more logical in this state of mind that I currently posses. I’m scared to feel anything, and that alone scares the shit out of me.
BUT I AM DEAD. “What the fuck is going on, why are these 2 idiots next to me right now, whats to eat.”
HAHHAHAH
So I went to my friend’s family thanksgiving dinner/dance party. I am very aware that I cannot dance by anyone else’s standards. Don’t get me wrong, I love to dance, I just look like a chicken without a head when I do it. Everyone kept telling me to just go with the music and don’t pay attention to what my feet are “supposed to be doing” but then I look down and their feet are like playing pro tic tac toe. So when I started to not care and be myself (which generally scares the shit out of stand-Byers) everyone starts laughing! They thought I was trying to be funny I think… But that was just me -__- so basically my natural movements are NOTHING like the “norm”.
